HUGE CAVEAT: This is satire. No claims to knowledge here! A little levity to make fun of some of the stupidity of our self proclaimed leaders. TEXAS—After a high profile case in which the non-profit advocated for abortion rights for an illegal immigrant, the American Civil Liberties Union issued a clarification on its positions Wednesday, specifying that the organization is only in support of immigrants who survive the first nine months in their mothers’ womb. The clarification came as a result of confusion surrounding the Union’s support of the killing of a 15-week-old undocumented alien that had been residing in a Jane Doe immigrant’s womb. “We fully support all immigrants who manage to survive the full nine months preceding birth,” ACLU president Susan N. Herman told reporters. “If they’re still in the womb, we support their wholesale destruction. But the second they come out, we’ll defend their civil liberties to the death.”(1 comment)

HUGE CAVEAT: This is satire. No claims to knowledge here! A little levity to make fun of some of the stupidity of our self proclaimed leaders. When you were nine years old, you might have been catching Pokemon or collecting POGs. That’s not the case for Robby Jennings. Jennings, a third-grader at Hamilton Elementary, was called up to the big leagues this week, as the GOP asked him to draw up their new tax reform plan. “I tried to make the taxes real fair and real good for everyone,” Jennings said. “I cut some of the taxes but left some of the others. I moved some things around. It is real different now but not too different, just sorta like, medium different, I guess.”(1 comment)

HUGE CAVEAT: This is satire. No claims to knowledge here! A little levity to make fun of some of the stupidity of our self proclaimed leaders. The governments of Venezuela and North Korea came out today offering asylum to those oppressed NFL players who refuse to stand for the National Anthem. "We understand how oppressive that song can be and if you accept our offer, you will never have to hear it again," said a joint spokesperson. "We would also invite them to deposit their funds in our banks and invest in our countries. It would be worthwhile."(1 comment)

HUGE CAVEAT: This is satire. No claims to knowledge here! A little levity to make fun of some of the stupidity of our self proclaimed leaders. Nearly 8 years after a terrible wreck left a man unable to communicate, his power of speech has returned. George Bush was 62 when the mainstream media derailed his presidency, which resulted in him and his entire administration going off a cliff and tumbling to the ground. "For eight long years he didn't speak a word," said George's brother, Jeb Bush. Though his family continued to talk to him, they had no idea whether he understood them. That eased a few days ago, when he began responding to questions with grunts and by blinking his eyes.(1 comment)