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ACLU Clarifies It’s Only In Support Of Immigrants After They Leave Womb

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HUGE CAVEAT: This is satire. No claims to knowledge here! A little levity to make fun of some of the stupidity of our self proclaimed leaders.

TEXAS—After a high profile case in which the non-profit advocated for abortion rights for an illegal immigrant, the American Civil Liberties Union issued a clarification on its positions Wednesday, specifying that the organization is only in support of immigrants who survive the first nine months in their mothers’ womb.

The clarification came as a result of confusion surrounding the Union’s support of the killing of a 15-week-old undocumented alien that had been residing in a Jane Doe immigrant’s womb.

“We fully support all immigrants who manage to survive the full nine months preceding birth,” ACLU president Susan N. Herman told reporters. “If they’re still in the womb, we support their wholesale destruction. But the second they come out, we’ll defend their civil liberties to the death.”

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